‘What are you doing now?’ I asked on the chat.
I’ve always respected Bro Segun, he is this spiritual brother I admired from afar. His life is just….perfect. His fervor, fire and fervency challenge me. I summoned courage to get close to him, so I could glean from him. I found him to be friendly as he didn’t seem like some of the spirit koko brothers I know, who keep a straight face when a sister tries to hitch a conversation.
I waited for some minutes for him to reply back but suddenly he stopped chatting with me. I checked; he was still online. I sent him a question mark to get his attention. ‘Maybe somehow he has forgotten or is distracted by something else’. The notification button showed blue. ‘Thank God, he has seen it’, I signed, expecting his reply. Surprisingly, in less than a minute, he went offline. That was shocking. Did I say anything wrong that made him offended? We were chatting just a while ago, as he gave answers to the questions I asked him on the Bible. I tried not to get myself worried, as I thought of other reasons why he suddenly went offline. ‘He’ll tell me why when I get to church’.
It was the evening service on Thursday. I sighted him during the service, looking calm as usua. I don’t know if I was expecting something else. After the service, I expected him to meet me and explain what happened but he didn’t. From afar, he just nodded in greeting and turned away like nothing happened. Had I done or said anything wrong? I began to feel bad. I quickly went to where he was. I met him talking with another sister and then, I felt a little ting of jealousy. ‘Why? He refused to chat with me’. I waited patiently till they were done.
‘Good afternoon, Sis Kate’. He said, smiling. ‘You want to see me?’
‘Really? Didn’t he know why I was here?’
‘Yes, Bro Segun’ I answered, trying not to sound offended. ‘About yesterday, you didn’t reply my chat, did I say or do anything wrong to you?’
‘Oh… yesterday’ He said. ‘I’m sorry, Sis Kate, I didn’t mean to offend you in any way. It was just necessary at that time’.
‘But why, we were chatting before and suddenly you stopped?’ I said. He didn’t answer immediately, as though he was thinking of what to say. He kept his hands in his pocket, looked down, still thinking. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. Then, he looked up.
‘I had to pull the plug at that very moment’. Although, I didn’t understand what he meant, I could feel the truth in his voice.
‘Don’t worry, I’d explain’. He continued. ‘The last thing you sent on the chat was ‘What are you doing now, right?’ I nodded in affirmation. ‘I was about to answer at that point when I felt a nudge’.
‘What nudge?’ I asked.
‘A nudge in my spirit; to stop at that moment, that’s why I said earlier that it was necessary’.
‘I’m sorry sir, I still don’t understand’. I said. ‘You said I did or said nothing wrong to you, so why the nudge or what do you really mean by the nudge?’ I really wasn’t enjoying the conversation at all.
‘You see, you don’t wait till the red light starts blinking or the siren starts blowing before you take action. Immediately, you feel the nudge, you should take caution’. He replied.
‘You still haven’t explained the nudge?’ I asked, starting to get impatient.
‘I mean the restraint from the Holy Spirit’. He answered. ‘I know you might have felt bad, I didn’t do it intentionally either. But if I had ignored His restraint and gone ahead, thinking there’s no big deal in what we were discussing, one thing could have led to another. Remember, there’s a way that seemeth right to a man but the end therefore is the way of destruction. As much as I try to be social and free with others, I also check up my actions with the Holy Spirit. There is a limit you can go in some things. Do you understand?’
By this time, his words were sinking into my heart, like cold water on the skin. Did it hurt? Yes, it did, for various reasons. Had I become less sensitive to the Holy Spirit? What did he feel that I didn’t?
‘Sis Kate, it’s okay to feel bad, but let me tell you something. Sharpen your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. He’s there to guide. Remember, He speaks in a still, gentle voice and He won’t strive with man forever. When you feel that constrain to go ahead with an action, or word or decision and you think ‘it doesn’t matter, it’s just a little thing, it’s no big deal, I can fix it up later’, then, you begin to silence His voice and you become less sensitive. You know, that’s how consciences get deadened, that’s when emotions run wild beyond reason and control. This is one reason why little actions can lead to grave consequences. Do ponder on this’.
‘I will. Thank you, sir’. I replied, as he finished talking.
‘Thanks for your understanding, too’. He said, smiling. ‘I have to go now. I have some reading to do before I go to rest. See you later. Goodnight’.
‘Yes, goodnight Bro Segun’. I can’t really explain what I felt at that moment as I walked to my hostel. Hadn’t I felt any nudge? Hadn’t the thought come that the question I asked was unnecessary? Wasn’t there any caution that it was getting late into the night? Yes, there was but then I thought ‘Nothing can happen, Bro Segun is a spiritual brother’. How foolish I was! It sure didn’t occur to me that David was spiritual and still fell. Hadn’t he sensed the Spirit’s warning telling him to go away? Hadn’t Peter been warned before he denied Christ? I remembered the actions I’d taken on impulse, words I’d spoken loosely, not heeding to the caution of the Spirit, the results and consequences, the gracelessness and carnality.
‘Lord, have mercy on me’ I prayed silently as I felt remorse and ashamed. ‘Forgive me for stubbornly going my own way. Help me to be sensitive to the Spirit’s voice. Give me the grace to hearken and obey. Please help me Lord’.
Pull the plug when you feel that nudge! The next step you take could be to a dead end. Don’t wait till the red light starts blinking before you take caution!