FOREVER- A Journey into God

Hello! Welcome to the second episode of this short story series: FOREVER-A Journey into God (The Script). Just in case you haven’t read the first episode, you can click here

EPISODE 2: THE SCRIPT

“Tolani! Tolani! Can you hear me?” Mrs. Olaide shook her daughter. “Doctor! Nurse! She has woken up! Ha! Thank You, Jesus!”

“What’s going on here? Why am I on the bed?” Her memory was clouded with scripts and water and shouting and noise. She tried recalling who was asking her about a paper in her hand and what he was saying but nothing tangible was coming up. But then what led her here? Then she remembered. Drug pills, the bathroom, in the shower, she had tried to take her own life! She closed her eyes to ease out the stream of light that was shining at her. All she wanted at this moment was to be in a world of nothing, where nothing existed.

The room where she was was silent. Her exasperated, excited mum had gone to get her some food. Tolani recalled hearing her mum sobbing as she left the room. She didn’t tell her mum anything about the rape incident but now, she knew her mum was aware.

Dark, empty, miserable, that was how she felt. She was still trying to remember what had happened between the time she fell on the bathroom door and met herself on the hospital bed. ‘, Paper?’ ‘Play?’

“God, where were you when I was raped? Where were you?” Streams of tears flowed recklessly down her cheeks?

“How come I got pregnant, God? Why?”

The same questions kept ringing in her head a few months after the uneventful incident. She couldn’t find any answers to what had happened to her and why. She knew it would be murder to abort the child but who would believe her? She thought it best to take her own life.

“All things work together for the good…” the exact words she had told the fellowship as the Bible Study teacher now rang in her ears. They sounded foreign now, as an unlearned language.

“In everything, give thanks.” Why were her own words haunting her? The same verses she had used to encourage and lift others were now streaming live in front of her memory and now, she couldn’t even believe them.

‘What can I thank you, for now, Lord?” She felt her chest would burst open any moment from the pain within.

‘If you had died, where would you have been?’ That shocking revelation hit her. She was only a few seconds to her grave. She’d felt it, as she slumped on the bathroom floor.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the door open.

“How are you doing?” Dr. Nelson asked.

Tolani stared at him. He was looking so young, in his early twenties. His fine features got her attention for a while, especially his black eyes and deep voice. Why was he smiling like that? She wasn’t in the mood to be happy. She turned and looked away.

“Hi, I’m Nelson.” He sat down beside her. After a few minutes of silence, he said “I’m sorry.”

Surprised, she turned back and asked “Why?” She hadn’t met him before; it was her mishap that got her in the hospital, so what was he talking about?

“For whatever made you think you didn’t deserve to live.” That stung!

Life was smooth. High ambitions, first class-student in her finals, good life and a wonderful family, not until the night she decided to go out with her friends to a birthday party. She didn’t want to remember, the mere thought was enough to make her mad. The rape, the pregnancy, the drowning feelings of depression, then the drugs. A nightmare. Now here she was, with a young man who thought he understood the pain she felt.

“Would you like to talk?” Nelson politely asked.

Tolani stayed mute. The banging headache in her head was still ringing loud and somehow, between the time she fell in the bathroom to when she opened her eyes in the hospital, she felt she had been somewhere else, talking to a man o,r was it just her imagination?

“I’m sorry for everything that happened.” He continued. “But you still deserve to live.”

As much as Tolani wanted to act like she didn’t know he was there, she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. The shame that had eaten up on her, the haunting thoughts that had ravaged her mind, even in her sleep, was so much to bear. She was the Bible Study coordinator in church. If she kept the baby, what story would she tell? Even her education, what would happen to it? But the sickling thought was the fact that she wasn’t pure anymore. That had been her pride. She knew she shouldn’t have gone that day. She felt as filthy as a rag.

“For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. I know what you went through is disgraceful and horrible, but that is not the end of your life. God still has your story in His hands, He knows your end from the beginning.”

‘Story?’ Tolani looked at him.

Something resonated in her memory. She had heard something similar before. Then suddenly she remembered. She had been in a theatre and had been handed a script. Everything came to mind. ‘FOREVER?’ What did that mean? How did it relate to what happened to her? She was almost dead. What was she supposed to continue?

‘The Script’, ‘The role’. ‘The mystery in the story will be fully understood when you begin to play your part.’ She recalled.

There was a lot to think about. All the while she had been leading the fellowship as the Bible study coordinator and serving God, what role had she been playing? How come it was just starting now? What did the director mean?

“Do you mind sharing what exactly happened?” Dr. Nelson asked.

She closed her eyes. Remembering everything that happened was like hell and torture to her mind, not to talk of saying it out. But then, she had kept it bottled in for so long, it spilled out in attempted murder. She sighed. She told him, summarily. She couldn’t even recognise her own voice. It sounded like a smuggled bird in a closed bag.

“I understand how you must feel.” He said. “But God still has you in His hands. Your life is like a script. He’s telling a story as you live. You might have missed your lines and played the wrong part by making the wrong decisions but you can still get back on track with the scene. All He needs is for you to cooperate with Him and follow His directions.”

It was beginning to make sense now. Although, she didn’t fully understand why she experienced what had happened to her; she now understood God was telling a story through her life. He could take the scattered pieces of the plot and weave it into a lesson others could learn from.

“I know you feel terrible about your past but God gives beauty for ashes.” He continued. “It won’t be easy, Tolani. Your mind will wage war against you. Others might scorn you when they hear your story but just trust God.”

‘Just trust God’ After everything that happened to her?

She wondered how she’d face the fellowship. Thank God she wasn’t dead, but what would she tell the brethren. That she had lost hope and resorted to killing herself? Or how she even got pregnant in the first place? How would she face the young converts she had encouraged over time to always trust God despite any situation? There was a lot at stake, and she was yet to comprehend what the director had told her, in her near-death experience.

If you were Tolani, what would you do when you get back to the fellowship? How will you face the world ahead of you?

THE SCRIPT

Your life is a script written by God. You might be wondering why I said ‘written’. That is because God already knows your end from the beginning. He has your life written down in His books.

Psalm 40:7 (KJV) says “Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of me.’

Psalm 139:16 (NLT) also says “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

Our days are laid down plain before God. But unfortunately, many do not realise this. They do not bother to know what God has written and planned concerning them. They don’t live out the script that has already been prepared. And they make a mess of themselves.

Do you know what’s written concerning you? Are you playing it out perfectly? Perhaps you don’t even know how?

Follow me on this series as His Spirit will lead in revealing more to us. God bless you.

I’d like to know your thoughts on what you think Tolani should do when she returns back tool.

If you have any questions too or objections, I’d love to know them. You can also share your insights and lessons too from this episode ‘The Script’ in the comment box below. Thanks.

See you in the next episode of ‘FOREVER-A Journey into God.’ Don’t forget to subscribe to get notified of the next episode.

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4 thoughts on “FOREVER- A Journey into God

  1. What an interesting read!

    To me, I feel she should just tell her story she might be judged or condemned, but someone out there will get a lesson from her story

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  2. (Sighs) I decided to put myself in Tolani’s shoes and I discovered that humanly speaking it wouldn’t be easy. I also want you to clarify what it means that our story has been written by GOD. In Tolani’s case does it mean that she has gone out of script and even if she gets back on track, the story will never be the same again?

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