Oluwatosin: Welcome back people! I’m really sorry for the break but we’re back again! It’s nice having you on the blog for another insightful review. If you haven’t read the previous review you can click here.
Oluwatosin: So today on review 5 of the book ‘Dining with the Devil’ I have with me a wonderful friend and brother. Thanks for honoring the inivtation for this review. Can we know you please?
Hi, I am Abiola Felix Abayomi, an undergraduate student of the Department of Accounting at the University of Lagos. I love Economics and all that relates to it. I’m also passionate about Financial analysis and the outcomes of Applied economical principles. Taxation is also one of my favorites.
I look forward to becoming the Minister of Finance, or an economy’s Central Bank Governor someday.
I love God and God’s children. I love to be around young men/women who are passionate about knowing God and His ways. I like good music too.
Oluwatosin: Beautiful! Straight to the first question: What were your thoughts when Ayo was leading Faith to the surprise party? Did you guess rightly what he was planning, if you guessed at all?
Knowing fully well that Faith hadn’t informed Ayo of the award she received at the conference in New York, the thoughts that came to mind were that Ayo being a Christian and much more Faith’s fiancé, couldn’t have planned anything hurtful to Faith. As they got to the restaurant, my thoughts increased that Ayo wanted to present a gift to Faith, it never occurred to me that Ayo had planned a surprised party for Faith. I was as shocked as Faith when I got to know what his real plan is.
Oluwatosin: (smiles) Is it appropriate or necessary for intending couples to ask each other of their past relationships? Would that be seen as suspicion?
We have to understand that relationships differ one from another and may not be approached the same way. Before I give an answer to this question, I would like to establish that, there are three elements which make a good marital relationship- Love, Trust and Understanding. Where these elements are present, such marriage will be free from negative thoughts such as suspicion. For intending couples, who possess these qualities, sharing past relationship experiences shouldn’t be a problem at all, it should only be remembered as a source of testimony of how God saved them from such relationships and brought them into His perfect will of finding the best of theirs.
Courtship (the period whereby intending couples get to know each other better before marriage), should be a time used to discuss issues relating to the past and about their future together. Faith and Ayo only fulfilled one aspect of this-they discussed abut the future alone. When intending couples discuss or ask questions about their past relationship experiences, this shouldn’t in any way breed thoughts of distrust in the heart of the fiancé/fiancée and furthermore shouldn’t be seen as suspicion but be a wall of secureness around them both.
Ayo and Faith had a high level of trust for each other and didn’t bother to ask about each other’s past, not until the sudden strange visitor Ayo started receiving at his office. Also, questions about past relationships shouldn’t be asked out of Jealousy “…for jealousy is cruel as the grave… “(Songs 8:6)
Oluwatosin: Rightly said. Thanks, Felix. If you have a friend in Faith’s shoes who has a fiancé who is being unfaithful, as a Christian friend how will you handle the matter?
I would simply advise my friend to go back to God for confirmation of who her real spouse I. e God’s perfect will. God is never an Author of confusion, He will not give His children gifts that would hurt them.
As Believers, we are certain that whatsoever God gives us won’t cause us sorrows, except when He gives us out of His permissive will.
Unfaithfulness during courtship will only lead to a greater unfaithfulness during wedlock. In fact, why would a true Christian be unfaithful during marriage? Actions of unfaithfulness during courtship will more often than not lead to eventual break up in marriage which is the bane of many families and homes, today. My advise will further be that, she should step out(not fully yet) of that relationship for a while, and patiently affirm God’s will for her marriage before she eventually puts her head into such marriage.
If such ground of contention cannot be settled, it would be better not to proceed in that relationship so s to avoid future grief and sorrows.
Oluwatosin: Hmm true. Let me ask this question, as a Christian once in an ungodly relationship, is it Biblical to still be in touch with any of those partners you once had relationship with?
It is possible that Christians who were once in an ungodly relationship, had those relationships with a workplace colleague, course mate or even a community friend, which may be sometimes challenging to stop interacting with such persons. However, Christians are not expected to keep in touch with such persons because it might be very dangerous too. Old things (relationships) should now be done away with. In fact, the bridge of communication (which could be through phone contact, a specific location etc) between them should be “blown up”, so there wouldn’t be thoughts of wanting to go back to such relationships “… for we are not ignorant of the devil’s devises”; keeping the communication link could cause the Christian, if he is not very careful, to backside.
As Christians, we should be wise not to keep things (relationships included) which we have once destroyed and are capable of hurting us.
In rare cases, however, a Christian who has the spiritual capacity to control his/her emotions, can keep such communication link between him/herself and the past ungodly partner, which should be on the basis of evangelizing to that ungodly partner. Even with that, such Christian has to prayerfully and carefully relate to such persons. God requires that we are very vigilant in such situations.
Oluwatosin: Thanks for this reply. I pray God helps us and grants the grace to keep the bridge of sin burnt behind us in Jesus name.
Oluwatosin: “Did you pray before accepting his offer or going?” “Lolade, this is not a big deal now. I’m just singing.” Did prayer really matter in this case? Even considering the fact that Bro Taiwo was her leader and someone she respected as spiritual?
Most believers often find themselves in the betwixt of trying to trust a leader’s opinion, at the expense of praying to know God’s will about a matter.
Christian leaders are expected to be spiritual, that’s true, but they are still human and it is possible that they can get carried away and be carnal. As Believers, the Scriptures exhorts us to “… try every spirit, whether they are if God.” – 1 John 4:1.
I wondered how Temi couldn’t quickly discern the error in the choir master’s statement, when he said “it’s a collection of songs, both secular and gospel”, trying to describe the kinds of song he produces in his studio. As much as it is good to trust leaders, it would also be very unfortunate to discard what God wants to communicate to us regarding sensitive issues (down to the littlest of issues).
It is only through prayers we communicate with God and when we do that, it shows that we regard God as the full owner of all we are. As believers, our lives should be built on the assuring conviction that “God must be true and every man a liar”, if God speaks concerning something, that should stand as the final authority we would follow, God’s word over man’s thoughts and feelings.
If Temi had prayed before accepting bro Taiwo’s “big offer”, God would perhaps had told her not to. God will never speak except it’s necessary or He has been asked to, He is a perfect Gentleman.
The point here is that whatsoever we do as believers, we should ensure they are according to God’s perfect will, for this brings glory to God.
So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.(Amp Bible) – 1 Corinthians 10:31
Oluwatosin: Right! As Christians whatever we must align with God’s perfect will, for this brings glory to God. This is very important!
Oluwatosin: Thank you so much, Felix, for these lessons you’ve shared with us. I must say, I’ve learnt from it and I’ve been edified. God bless you!
Oluwatosin: Dear reader, what have you learnt? What inspired you or challenged you from today’s review or the book? Kindly share in the comment box below for others to learn from too.
Just in case you’re not aware, the book ‘Dining with the Devil’ is now available in print on Amazon Kindle. If you’re interested in getting a copy, you can click here. The soft copy is also available for free here.
Gracias! And God bless you!