Oluwatosin: Hello dear reader! It’s a pleasure having you on the blog today. I’m super-duper excited to have you here with me once again after such a long time. I’m really sorry for the break.
Oluwatosin: So, something interesting is happening on the blog. It’s the review of the book ‘Dining with the Devil’. Before I continue, have you heard about the book? Have you read it? If your answer is not a ‘YES!’ it’s not too late. It’s free! You can get a copy of the book here: https://bit.ly/diningwiththedevil.
Oluwatosin: Yea, back to business. To start off this review, I have with me here a wonderful guest, a lovely friend and a beautiful sister. She’s Anuoluwapo Alabi. It’s a great pleasure having you here on the blog, can you please introduce yourself to us?
Anuoluwapo: Hello, I am Alabi Anuoluwapo Victoria, aka. HIS MASTERPIECE . I’m an undergraduate at University of Lagos, studying History and Strategic Studies. I’m into international relations and SDGs 1&2. I’m working hard towards becoming a global citizen, which has led to my involvement in Model United Nations Conferences, volunteering amongst others. I’m also passionate about children and women. I love cooking, crafting, caring for people and counseling. I’m also a culinary and millinery enthusiast. I live with the goal of empowering women, men and teenagers, which is why I engage myself in profitable activities, which can be used as a stepping stone to reach my goals. Above all, I’m a lover of God and his church. It’s my desire to see his people grow and a prayer that we all get to heaven.
Oluwatosin: What an impressive profile! Straight to the first discourse. Faith had a successful career life which is quite commendable. What will you say of young ladies who pursue their career without any thought to their marital life? How should there be a balance?
Here’s a good one and I will start with this scripture “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Luke 14:28 KJV
I used the Scripture above because I believe life is about balance, most especially when you are aware that there’s need for one. Also, discretion is needed, so you don’t lose at both ends. If you want to journey on a particular path, before you embark, you should take a while to consider if it will pay off in the end.
However commendable it is a for a young lady to have a successful career, you won’t want to pursue career at the detriment of other areas of your life, most especially in marriage. Time doesn’t wait till you’re ready. It moves, ready or not. Although, no timing is specifically given for a lady (not a girl) to get married, asides some settings(religious) where a certain age and above is considered to be fit for a lady to get married, by reason of physical maturity, but when you’re mature enough, by that I mean spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially at least for your present and growing stage you should consider getting married. I will explain this in another light. You won’t be fulfilling God’s will for marriage when you choose not get married or make plans for it. One of the special purposes that God created you for, is to be a helpmeet. Besides, the pursuit of career has never meant so much satisfaction to man, as much as a faithful companion to walk this journey of life with. Career and its successes remains a means to an end, not the end. Therefore, strike this balance, so you don’t loose at both ends.
Now, how do we gain the balance? As a purposeful young lady or person in general, you don’t rule out planning. A popular saying goes thus that “whosever fails to plan, plans to fail”. I’d also say this, if you don’t want life to plan for you, I believe you should plan for your life and at best, with God. This is because he knows all about your life. In as much as I detest rush hour, I believe you also don’t want to get to a point where, everything seems to be in a hurry. First you seem to be aging, next getting pressure from home and friends. Also, your head feels clouded with marriage proposals and you don’t know who to say yes to and all that. I’d advise that you be a LADY of POISE. In your own little way and with the help of God have things under control.
As a Christian lady, it won’t cost you a lot when you begin to sow the seeds of prayer into your marital life. Nothing stops you from praying prayers such as, God, prepare me for my marriage and future home, Dear Lord, help me not to miss it, Father, lead me to the right one, at the right time and all that. With that and more, you’re rest assured that the master planner has your checklist in his hand. Therefore, when the right time comes, he has his way of making you know that, “Daughter, it is time”. I hope I’ve not spoke too much, but here’s what I can offer for now, *smiles*.
Oluwatosin: Rightly said! What then should be the role of parents in the aspect of their child’s marriage? Just as Faith’s parents did, is it right for parents to remind their children especially their daughters of it? Will that be seen as pressure?
Anuoluwapo: Let’s see what the Bible says; “Train up a child in the way (s)he should go: and when (s)he is old, (s)he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 KJV
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 KJV
Parents will always be parents, and they will do what they have to do, in the best of their ability. Of course they must remind their children, especially when it seems they’re not considering that path. You call them back to reality. The society has enlightened us on the need for education, that’s why you see so many parent, the rich, average and below average striving within their capacity, to give their children good education. Some go as far as sponsoring this children to other countries for studies. This is the role of parents here. May I remind you that these children have gladly embraced this opportunity. I said this because, in most cases, children don’t find the need for education as a thing of pressure, we believe it’s a must have, isn’t it? Yea.
Also, in the case of marriage, parents still have to perform the same role of guidance and it should not be seen as pressure. Let me give this balance. I once had a roommate in my year 2, she was in year 5 and she didn’t want to go home. Initially, my roommates and I thought it was a joke, but whenever the need for her to go home comes up, she begins to lament, saying “ohh my mum will start disturbing again on this marriage issue” and all that. The thought alone can discourage her from going home. I also said that because, I know there are parents that put their children under that pressure and it’s not earning both party the comfort they need. The child is not comfortable with the pressure, so also is the parents who want the child to get married. The responsibility of training and guiding a child in life does not include education, and exclude marriage. They go pari passu.
Faith’s parent had done the needful for her education and they were reaping the fruit, but we should look closely at what Faith’s mum said “If it were possible, we’d love to see you around us all the days of our lives, but that’s not our joy. What we are saying is it’s time for you to settle down. You have everything working out for you already. Thank God you’ve finished school and now you’ve secured a very lucrative and profitable work. The next thing is to build your own home.” Mr. Williams continued.” This clearly explains that they think about the future of their daughter and they were concerned about all that happens in her life. It’s what good parents do.
At this point we should be gender specific. A woman and a man are not same in some ways, take for instance in reproduction. A woman doesn’t have all the time in the world to bare her children, her timing is key amongst others. Also, in some societies a man is strongly advised to be financially stable before going into marriage, because he will shoulder most of the financial responsibilities. But I will add, a lady must strive towards financial independence as well. You don’t want to be a liability, but a asset. Dare to be a help meet even financially. It will help you.
Therefore, in simple terms, parents role in their children’s marriage is to encourage them and serve as a strong spiritual backing for them, leaving no stone unturned. Also, children should not see it as pressure except in extreme cases, but look at it with the heart of love. That is, my parents are concerned about my life and all that.
Oluwatosin: Hmmm, I got this: ‘a lady must strive towards financial independence as well. You don’t want to be a liability, but a asset. Dare to be a help meet even financially. It will help you‘. Thanks for that.
Oluwatosin: Speaking of knowing God’s perfect will for you in marriage, when Mrs Kingsley was narrating how she met her husband, she mentioned that most of the people who approached her were spiritual and godly. How do you explain that? Is it that they all didn’t hear God right or they didn’t hear Him at all?
Anuoluwapo: Smiles… See this, “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” 1 John 4:1 KJV
For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words. Ecclesiastes 5:3 KJV
I used this two verses to explain that, that someone approaches you and say he’s from God and hears what God has told him and all that, may and may not be true. That’s why the bible said try every spirit, it is not about the person proposing it is about you. What knowing do you have about this? After all, we agree that God will not confuse his children. This is a thing of patience and process, therefore, follow it. The dream world is a powerful world that can be highly manipulated.
Before I explain that, I’ll say this. Know how God has been speaking to you, he will not use anything different when it comes to marriage. Did you get that? If God speaks to you frequently through impression and you get a revelation on marriage through dreams, I’d tell you to WAIT. Don’t do anything yet. Let God confirm it through the way he has always been speaking. By impulse I want to ask you, why did you think Satan did not use the exact route that God uses to speak to you, but went through another door to speak on a pressing matter in your heart and you want to dare agree with him, that it is God. Satan is a fool! Remember, your wisdom is from God. If God speaks to you by impressions, why did Satan leave the impression part and then he came to feed you lies in your dream and then you think God has spoken. My dear, God said nothing! Don’t let Satan confuse you, wait for God.
You know, I’ve heard of stories and one in particular struck me. The pastor explained how he thought he was going to get married to a particular sister by reason of the confirmations he got from God, but in the end she was not the one. Now, you may ask why that, but he got confirmations from God? See, you don’t plant your confirmation from God on the next available person that seem to match the confirmation. I’d explain again, that God gave you a list of confirmations to know the kind of person you are going to get married to, does not give you the license that you can begin to match the evidences with the next available person you see. What if that person is the fake of your original? According to the pastor, the lady had exactly what God had told him his wife would have, but in the end that was the fake. Here me again, it’s a thing of patience and process.
If you’ll permit me, let me paint a scenairo. Imagine a young man, whom God has told that his wife is a twin, the only girl out of 4 boys, she sings in the choir and she’s light skinned. This young man can be a bit confident and probably just look through this directed path and find someone that matches his criteria. In his case probably he chose a dark skinned girl who had the other criteria, but God said light skinned. Now, do you think that was right? For me, I’d say no. Because, the way God works from the story of Adam and Even, God brought Eve to Adam and it brings me back to what I said before, patience and process. Wait for it. Don’t go ahead of God. If he said, that is the person, do not run before him whatever betide, wait for him to bring this person or orchestrate a senairo where you’ll get to meet this person.
Before I run off, let’s go back to the question, I believe Mr Kingsley was patient and I should point out to you her saving grace, see this “Fortunately, God had revealed him to me before he even got to know and before any of them started proposing; not directly at the time but I had hints as to who the person ought to be; and so, when the others came before my husband, I knew they weren’t meant for me.” Getting a personal revelation from God will save you in times like this. Of course you won’t call out the brothers or mock them saying God did not speak to them, because in the end, It is not be about the person proposing all the time, but rather the person being proposed to. What knowing do you have, so you don’t make a mistake? So you don’t say YES to the wrong person and NO to the right person. Be discerning. In short, I’d say God may have spoken to the brothers about a sister, but not that sister. God may have not spoken to the bothers, but they said he has spoken. This is quite an elaborate discourse. I’d just say, know your God well enough. He’s not an author of confusion. Get your confirmations right and let God act the script out, not you. Thank you.
Oluwatosin: This is insightful! In summary, know your God; know how He speaks to you; wait for Him to confirm what He has shown or told you. Do not rush!
Oluwatosin: If you had a room mate or friend like Temi who has constant nightmare what will you do?
Anuoluwapo: Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 KJV
To be sincere, I will put on my garment of prayer and intercession. This is not to sound spiritual, but I will explain how I see it. It’s like I’m in a room where the devil is oppressing someone and all I want to do is to watch, not doing anything about it. It’s clear that the devil is in the room with the both of us. It just happens that I’m not his target but the other person. Why would I do that? Why do I have God in my life and the Holy Ghost, if I can’t bind the devil causing someone’s oppression.
Be more personal, if Satan was oppressing you, will you keep calm or pray against it? Definitely you will pray against and if someone for whatever reason has been subjected to such oppression, as a Christian, you must not act like you don’t have help. Pray for that person till the devils hold on that person is loosed and never to return. It’s the privilege you have as a christian that whatever you bound on earth will take effect in heaven, therefore, use your authority, it should not waste. The only option you have as a christian, is to increase in rank as you seek God daily and fight the battles he brings your way.
Oluwatosin: That’s right. As Christians we are to exercise the power and authority given to us to set the captives free among us.
Oluwatosin: So what do you think? Was it right for Lolade to tell Temi’s choimaster what Temi was going through?
Anuoluwapo: Reading the story, it’s quite tricky, but something is key here, the need for discernment or discretion. Looking at the surrounding circumstances, I’d say Lolade had no option, but to have done that.
However, I find fault in what she did. It wasn’t okay. First of all, i don’t appreciate releasing another person’s number to other people without asking for their permission. Just as Temi said, Lolade should have asked her and at best, said to Bro Taiwo, I’d need to ask her before she releasing the number. Another reason, why I said it wasn’t okay is because, Lolade also said her spirit is not going with bro Taiwo.
See, our mind zone, is different from our spirit. I believe, when your spirit is not agreeing with something, and you go ahead to do it, it’s like you are fighting against yourself. Did you get that? You’re fighting against yourself. You aren’t comfortable. I doubt if anything can be as true to you as your spirit, now imagine a christian with the spirit of God. That she was sensitive enough to know that her spirit was not going with the brother, should have made her not to release any information. Remember when Satan wants to get a christian. He doesn’t come headlong just like that to hit you, he roams around, looking for openings. He enforces those opening with the temptations we face, and as soon as the guard falls, he gains access. One mind thinks, although bro Taiwo may have found another diabolical means to get Temi, but if Lolade did not give that opening, I believe getting access to Temi may have been more difficult or better still impossible.
Oluwatosin: Hmmm, we should be careful not to act contrary to what our spirit is discerning. May God help us.
Oluwatosin: What part of chapter 1 got you thinking or motivated you?
Anuoluwapo: Friendship: The gift of God and Man. The gift of God and the gift of men is a package any man needs to fulfill his destiny. You should read it again. See, that God gave you the gift of knowing him, having a relationship with him, is not something you should trade for anything. It’s the highest, widest and deepest form of friendship.
You can’t beat a man with a relationship with God. Let me tell you, he has a greater boss man right behind him. The God of this whole universe. If you’re reading this and you don’t know this God yet and the gift of his son, hear this, no one is rubbing your sins to your face, the only person that does that is the devil. You need Jesus and you should come to him, before it’s too late. Don’t you admire the relationship a good number of characters in the book, “Dining with the devil” had with God? It’s so beautiful.
For me, I loved sis Ruth sensitivity. God loves you and wants to be friends with you. All you need is acknowledge you’re a sinner, confess your sins that they be forgiven and ask Jesus to come into your life. If you’ve done that, I celebrate with you. You have come into the kingdom of love.
I love the relationship Faith shared with Ada, oh no! it’s too priceless. That’s the gift of men. The duo could talk and gist together, hold each other accountable, Ada could call out Faith at anytime. She was a friend indeed! She was a support system, a listener, cheer leader, ready to celebrate her friend any time, she cared without wanting anything back.
That they could do prayer retreat together as singles was the height of it for me. You can’t imagine things they’ve settle about their life in prayers and in cases like that God has no option but to honour the both of them. Their relationship was just one I loved so much. It’s priceless. If you have people like that in your life, hold them dear and if you want to be that kind of friend, you can always ask God to help you.
Oluwatosin: The gift of God and the gift of men! You need the upward pull of God and the support base of man! Any final words to us?
Anuoluwapo: The book Dining with the devil is really a power packed book. I had times when my heart was in my throat. Some parts where intense. I coveted some some graces, prayed some prayers, learnt some lessons and learnt some more. More grease to your elbow Oladejo Tosin.
A few lessons I’d share from the book and life in general includes the following, but not limited to it.
- A child of prayer and promise cannot be lost. Don’t give up on that person you’re praying for. Hold on to the promises God has given you. In time, mercy will speak.
- In life, there can be a break in the junction, but that’s not the end of the journey.
- Faith begins where logic ends. You should read that again. However, you don’t have to wait for logic to fail before you choose to have faith.
- A break up in a relationship doesn’t mean a break down. It’s only a piece broken off just to create another beautiful picture, only it’s different from the previous one, but not less beautiful.
- ”God’s plan can change but not his purpose. The yorubas call him “Aileyipada Baba” Unchangeable Father.
Thanks so much for this privilege Oladejo Tosin. I deeply appreciate it. God will continue to bless you, increase you and HONOUR YOU. AMEN.
To the readers, I hope you were blessed by this review. Discussion can continue in the comment section.
I’d love if you’ll follow me on my social media platforms for more inspiring content. Much love.
Facebook – Alabi Anuoluwapo
Oluwatosin: Wow! Thank you so much Anu. You’ve shared gems of wisdom applicable to all and sundry. I’ve really learnt a lot from this review. Thanks for these insights. You are blessed.
Oluwatosin: Dear readers, we’ve come to the end of today’s review and I’m very sure you were blessed just as I am, and that you got value from what Anuoluwapo has shared with us. I’m also grateful to you for making out time to join us in this discourse. I’d love to get your feedback on it. What did you learn? What blessed you most from the review? Do you have something to add to the lessons gained? I’d really love to hear it. Feel free to use the comment box below and share with others too. Thanks!
Once again, if you haven’t read the book ‘Dining with the Devil’ you can get it through this link: https://bit.ly/diningwiththedevil.
There’s another good news! ‘Dining with the Devil’ IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON KINDLE! So if you need the copy of the book in print, you can just click on this link: https://www.amazon.com/DINING-DEVIL-Oluwatosin-Oladejo-ebook/dp/B08D69PH4T/ref=sr_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=dining+with+the+devil&qid=1596756748&s=digital-text&sr=1-4
To also make your reviews on the book, use this link: http://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B08D69PH4T